


Sylvain asks for help in the bedroom and Felix seriously reconsiders their friendship

by bluelionsbish



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anxiety, Bromance, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fire Emblem Kink Meme, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Friendship, Gender-Neutral My Unit | Byleth, M/M, Mentioned Blue Lions Students (Fire Emblem), Mild Sexual Content, Minor Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Romance, Sexual Content, Smut, broooooomance, mercedes is a church lady who likes the d, someone please just help sylvain so felix no longer has to suffer, there's nothing really gay about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 03:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelionsbish/pseuds/bluelionsbish
Summary: Felix looks at him as if he's gone mad."Well, can you help me?"Sylvain is on his knees and he's frankly disgusted."Fuck off, Sylvain.""But she said you were good in bed!"





	Sylvain asks for help in the bedroom and Felix seriously reconsiders their friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Alt title: _Mercedes is a church lady who likes the d_
> 
> I don't even know what this is.  
It started out as an 'lol imagine if Sylvain asked Felix for sex advice' but then it turned into...this.  
I may get to the actual smutty parts and post them, eventually lmao.  
No beta we die like Glenn. I will never edit.

"Fuck off, Sylvain," Felix says bluntly.

Sylvain winces at his tone but doesn't back down. It's been a few months since Felix decided to rejoin them at the monastery, hair cut short and face remarkably sharper than it had ever been before. If that were possible. He looked a lot like Glenn.

Sylvain wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"I'm swallowing my pride here and asking for help." Sylvain responds, his face and voice colour with embarrassment. Felix has this way of looking at him that makes it evident he thinks Sylvain is very, very stupid. He almost regrets coming to Felix for advice. Almost.

"I didn't think you'd need assistance in something of that nature," Felix tells him dryly. He's not stabbing the training dummy with brute force anymore, but he hasn't sheathed his sword either. Sylvain doesn't want to end up on the wrong side of his blade, and wisely takes a step back when Felix pulls it out of the dummy with spine-cracking strength. His friend hadn't been slacking on his training all those years they were apart.

Sylvain fumbles with his words. He, the prime Casanova, wooer of lady kind, was deferring to Felix in an area that should have been his expertise. Felix, to his credit, is still looking at Sylvain as if he's an idiot—which he is, probably—but he does so without a hint of pink on his cheeks. He remembers the days Felix could easily be flustered by the mention of a kiss, let alone intimacy. He is dying to know when that had changed.

"I don't normally," Sylvain quips with a yelp, because Felix has taken to swinging his sword again and it is a _mite _too close to his face for comfort, "but Mercie said-"

"Mercedes said what?" Felix suddenly cuts in, face a shade darker than it had been previously. He didn't like the direction Sylvain was steering the conversation.

"Mercie said that you're really good in bed!"

Felix, naturally, stumbles in his footing when he says this and accidentally slices the sleeve of Sylvain's shirt. _Accidentally._

Sylvain takes another step back and holds his hand up in mock surrender because _yikes, _he very much liked that top.

"I've never bedded Mercedes, Sylvain," Felix retorts with a tired sigh. The training dummy has been hacked to pieces and he's finally sheathing his blade. Sylvain feels like he can breath again, although he knows Felix is just as good with his fists as he is with his sword. The thought does little to comfort him.

"I know that," Sylvain mutters, catching up to walk beside Felix as he exits the training grounds, "but-hey would you slow down for a second?" He's reaching out to grab Felix's arm just as Felix stops at the sound of his voice. The world seems to flow in slow motion as Felix watches Sylvain flop to the ground in his momentum, missing the other by inches.

"Wow, okay, could have warned a guy." Sylvain is rubbing his nose and picking gravel out where it's embedded in his skin.

Felix smirks, "You told me to slow down."

"Yeah, slow down. Not completely stop." He picks himself up off the ground and sets about carrying on with the original conversation.

"I'm not helping you with this," Felix frowns, noticing how Sylvain brightened.

"Oh come on," the man begs. It's a dumb sight, Felix thinks, because Sylvain is now a towering man and shouldn't be pouting.

"No."

"Just one or two pointers."

"No."

"Just one, then."

"Are you deaf or are you stupid? I said no."

Sylvain's forehead creases in thought. Mercie had positively gushed when he returned to their shared room the other night. Apparently she and Felix's significant other had a rather _riveting _conversation that led them to comparing their men in bed. And by the way Mercie drooled at the tales she had been told, Sylvain was confident that Felix was definitely skilled in the way of the blade. In more ways than one. So to speak.

But when Sylvain had asked Mercie to elaborate, because he was always up for trying something new in the bedroom, she merely got all sheepish and doe-eyed and he dropped the subject in favour of showering her with kisses.

He huffs and steps in front of Felix, effectively cutting him off. His friend's gaze is concentrated on a person in the distance. Sylvain kind of hates how soft Felix gets just looking at his partner. He had never looked at anything like that in his life, even when they were kids. His sword was his constant companion. But then _she _had waltzed into the picture.

Sylvain had only met her after they had all returned to the monastery, five years after Edelgard had declared war and decimated the holy place. His lover hadn't been a student there, and Felix had actually met her on the battlefield up in Fraldarius territory shortly after he had returned home.

Sylvain snorts. It seemed fitting that was how they met. And they seemed close. As close as one could get to a man like Felix, anyways.

So when he had learned that Felix wasn't a stranger to getting frisky—well, he was surprised. If he had been in his friend's shoes, he would have jumped her too. She was small and strong, but had a glow to her skin and beautiful eyes. She was a pretty woman in an understated sort of way, and Sylvain appreciated looking at her.

Not that he'd ever tell Felix that. Ever.

Felix is staring at Sylvain. The man snaps out of his thoughts and returns his stare.

"What...what did Mercedes say?"

Ah, Sylvain grins, so he _had _gotten Felix's attention. He supposes that's a good thing. Or maybe it was a bad thing, depending on how fast he could outrun Felix drawing his sword. He wasn't sure about a lot of things, but he'd have a decent head start, at least.

"Nothing really," Sylvain humours him, "just that your partner really enjoys what you do." And there's the blush he's been sorely missing. The tips of Felix's ears practically glow red, but his expression is neutral.

"Mercie never talks about this kind of stuff," Sylvain blazes on, "we're so pathetically vanilla-"

"-Sylvain-"

"-that I got overly excited and basically scared her off from telling me the details. And probably our sex life _indefinitely_."

Felix sighs. Sylvain mirrors said sigh. They both sigh until Ingrid is looking at them strangely as she crosses paths with them. Annette is with her. They're huddled together with arms full of maps, most likely making their way to the war room.

Which is the direction Felix starts to walk.

"Hey," Sylvain protests, snaking around to stand in front of Felix once more, "we're not done talking." Felix elbows him to the side.

"Yes, we are," Felix shoots back, pace brisk enough that even with his longer legs Sylvain has to run to catch up with him again.

"Uh, no? Seriously, how you even manage to get a girl off with that aloof attitude of yours is beyond me. Lighten up man, help a brother out."

Sylvain can see the vein twitch in Felix's temple. He looks like he's trying very hard not to strangle the red haired man in front of him.

"If you haven't noticed," Felix eventually hisses, "we're in the middle of a war. We're also about to have a war meeting. After that, we'll most likely be marching out to Enbarr. Now's not the time to be thinking with your dick, Sylvain."

Sylvain hums, falling into step with Felix. He has a point. They _are _in the middle of the war. But in his eyes, this is all the more reason to be open about their love lives. If he's going to die, Sylvain wants to at least make sure Mercedes knows how much she means to him. He's sure he'd gladly give her his everything; heart, soul, and body, if she asked him. Sylvain's never said that about a woman before. Mercie is one of a kind and irreplaceable. He just wants to make her feel _good_.

Frankly, he had forgotten about the war meeting, and has no desire to go. He's about to whine like a petulant child until both Ingrid and Annette come barrelling down the steps with wild eyes. Byleth lurks behind them like a shadow.

"Meeting's postponed," they say, green eyes belaying no emotion. "Dimitri is otherwise occupied."

Felix barks out a laugh, "What, the boar having another one of his fits?"

Byleth merely stares at him. Sylvain shivers in Felix's stead. He admires his professor, really, but they do freak him out a fair bit. Felix nods as if his question is answered and begins to walk back towards the training grounds, encounter with Byleth already in the back of his mind.

The way Felix is able to zero in on exactly what he wants to focus on is a skill Sylvain envies. He often seems unperturbed by many things, although over the course of the years, Sylvain has learned this is not the case. Felix feels a lot, sometimes too much in that his automatic response is to shut everything, and every_one_, out.

Again, this is a skill Sylvain wishes he had, unhealthy as it may be.

"So," he begins, throwing his arm around Felix's shoulder. The man grunts in response but does not shake him off, "the pointers."

Felix sighs for what seems like the nth time. He really does not want to talk to Sylvain about this.

"Have you ever just thought of _asking _Mercedes what she wants from you in bed?"

Sylvain stills, "I've always been the one suggesting things. Like anal."

Felix's nose scrunches up in disgust, "please refrain from giving me the details." Sylvain laughs at him.

"She gets embarrassed even asking for sex, she doesn't just tell me what she wants. I'm her first in many ways," he winks and Felix fights the urge to gag, "she's shy. So there's got to be a way to spice things up that doesn't end with either her running away or trying to exorcise me."

Felix shakes his head, "And your first suggestion was anal? Has she recently bought salt and candles?"

"She never wants to try anything new, _just help me you asshole._" Sylvain is whining again and Felix is glaring holes into his face, "something not overly kinky. You don't look like you'd be overly kinky."

Felix doesn't know if he should be offended by this or not.

"Go ask Ingrid." He opts to say. He can't believe he's entertained Sylvain for this long.

Sylvain has the courtesy to balk at his suggestion, "absolutely not."

Felix pinches the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. He breathes in, then out.

"Overstimulation," he finally grits out, turning away from Sylvain's cheeky grin. His friend is practically clawing at his lapel, begging for more information.

"Is that what she likes?"

Felix turns crimson. Sylvain's breath is in his face and he's shaking him.

"That's got to be what she told Mercie," he basically chirps, "not blasphemous but not boring either. Judging by her enthusiasm last night, I'd say she'd be down for it." Sylvain lets go of Felix and spins on his heel, presumably to find Mercedes.

Suddenly fearing for the poor woman, Felix yanks at the back of Sylvain's cloak. "Hold on, you idiot. You can't just pound away and expect her to be alright. You could hurt her." Sylvain looks confused.

"So what do I do?"

Felix's jaw aches. He's pretty sure he's grinding his teeth in anxiety. He doesn't know why he's helping Sylvain in the first place.

"Use your tongue."

Sylvain's eyes widen. "Whoa," he exclaims, "Felix you _are _a kinky bastard." Said man tries his hardest, yet again, not to smite Sylvain where he stands.

Felix flips him off and goes to walk away, but Sylvain is calling out and his body is stopping against his will, and by Sothis, Felix really needs to stop catering to his friend's needs.

"I need you to explain." Felix is pretty sure that if Sylvain had a piece of parchment, he'd be taking notes, "I use my tongue and then what?"

He feels like he's been stabbed one too many times and left on a field somewhere to rot. Felix also simultaneously feels like he wants to kill Sylvain.

"Use your tongue. Your fingers. I don't know Sylvain," he's sighing again, "make her cum first and then you fuck her. There, is that clear enough for you?"

Sylvain looks up at him as if he's the goddess herself.

"It feels good, right?"

Felix has to fight off the desire to draw his sword.

"I wouldn't do it if it didn't," he admits, hand on his hip. "Go slow, play with her, then immediately fuck her. Don't let her come down from that high. Everything—the sensations," he _still _can't believe he's having this conversation, "they're all heightened."

Sylvain seems to contemplate what he says next, cheeks rosy and it's not from the cold, "Does it make you hard? Playing with her?"

"Fuck's sake, Sylvain," Felix hides his head in his hands, "what the actual fuck."

"I mean, it's foreplay right? You have to get it up while you're eating her out otherwise you can't get straight to the dicking." Sylvain tilts his head to the side. His face remains innocent but his eyes glint with mischief, "right?"

Felix leaves him in front of the greenhouse. He doesn't turn back this time when Sylvain yells at him.

"I'll let you know how it goes, buddy!"

Felix really, _really_, wishes he wouldn't.

*

It's two days later when Sylvain shows up at his door looking an absolute wreck. He doesn't bother to hide the bruises on his neck or the way his shirt isn't properly tucked into his pants. His hair is mussed and his lips are still swollen and he's swaggering around like he's _king_.

Felix wants to run him through with his blade.

"Holy shit," Sylvain manages to say after he's caught his breath, "got any other tricks up your sleeve?"


End file.
